Happy Birthday Natalie Portman

Dear Natalie,


I hope you got the chocolates I sent you. I have been meaning to go tho the set of V for Vendetta just to see you, but you know, I get tied up with so much work I can't even get to callyou up to say 'hi'. I know you miss me. I wish I were with you in Cannes to walk you up the red carpet, but alas, the corporate machine has ways of getting you to break your own plans.

I've noticed that you shaved your head recently. I know you've been getting a lot of beef about that. But let me just say this, even if you shaved all of your hair you would still the most beautiful creature in the planet. No amount of makeup on anyone would stand a chance against you, even if you were covered in grease and had lice. But we know that's not gonna happen.

I hope things are not so stressful on the set. I've heard those Wachowski brothers can be a pain sometimes. I hope James McTeigue is ok. If he isn't treating you right, i'll be the first to take a plane and smash his puny little...ok, I need to calm down.

Anyways, Happy Birthday my beautiful Jewish darling.


Rocketboy


(To everyone reading this, please dont tell Z.)