Retro-Review: "Supergirl" (1984)

Starting today, I'm going to be doing a retrospective review on some rare, otherwise mediocre classic movies or albums. Every now and then I'm going to bash or praise classic creations of art as well as old crappy exploitation flick that sould never have been printed on disc.


Ever since I saw that Superman Fan trailer, my interest in the new Superman Returns movie (to be released in June 2006) had risen leaps (from tall buildings) and (single) bounds (Ok. I smell cheese).
I recently got one of those 4 in 0ne DVDs that had Superman 1 up to 4. I haven't found the time to watch all four, but I did watch the 'bonus movie', Supergirl.
Now, I'm pretty sure Shuster and Siegel never intended on creating a Supergirl (I don't know if they really created her, I'm too lazy to research) if it weren't for the tremendous success of the Man of Steel. I'm not really sure if her story really fits in to the whole Superman myth, given that everyone from Krypton was destroyed and that Kal-El was the only one left. It turns out that he had a 'cousin' from 'inner space' in a saranwrapped tent called Argo City. Kara/Supergirl (Helen Slater) lost the Omegaheadron, a very integral element in life support system of Argo City the shape of a spinning ball, because eccentric inventor Zaltar (Peter O' Toole) was using it to make one of his earth creature inventions and rooled it over to her to play with, apparently playing with an integral life-supporting powersource was ok in Argo City. So she sets out to earth's surface and looks for it. She is easily distracted by private high school, her roommate who also happens to be Lois Lane's sister and a hunky landscaper with an IQ lower than his total body fat percentage.

The story is of course pathetically simple yet the director was unable to execute. I can only describe it as a man pointing a gun at an apple point blank, shooting, and missing it. I'm pretty sure that Faye Dunaway shudders everytime she sees her self in this. You keep witing for some quick funny one liners but they always almost never come, cutting away to the next scene.
Helen Slater is a sight to behold, but she has just about the same amount of talent as a mannequin in a Supergirl costume. Wilson the volleyball had more acting charisma. Even Jimmy Olsen's (Marc McClure)presence in half the film couldn't validate the movie's place in the Superman universe.


Well, you can't really expect a lot from a spinoff. Especially something as off as Supergirl. If it does not exactly fit in Superman's universe, where else should it be?

Rocketboy's Retro-rating: *(1 out of 5)