Movie Review: "Van Helsing" (2004)

Bad Story. Bad Concept. Bad Acting. Cheesy Special Effects. Hands down, probably the worst blockbuster movie of the year!

I didn't really have any expectations for this movie, which is probably why I never saw it in the cinema. I had borrowed a couple of my cousin's pirated DVDs last monday for a more worth while day off that just slouching around like a limp stalk of celery. Turns out, I could have spent my time better that way.
Van Helsing, as we all know was an integral character in Bram Stoker's Dracula. This was heavily exploited and commercialized and turned into another corporate franchise by making him younger (if you recall, it was Anthony Hopkins who played Van Helsing in Coppola's version of Dracula) giving him a semiautomatic crossbow and those buzzsaw thingies. Throw in a pretty girl in the mix (why is Kate Beckinsale always taking these vampire-related roles, she's never good in them. She should stick to romantic comedies) and a myriad of impossible silly stunts and million-dollar special effects sequences, youv'e got yourself an instant money making machine.
Mary Shelley must have been rolling over in her grave once they got Frankenstein's monster in the story. Sure, the story of a mutated creation of human hands conflicted with innocent human desires and the inherent love for the master was a nice touch, but not worthy for this tripe.
Its a good thing she playdates for this movie are over, because I would beg you not to see it.

Rocketboy's Rating: * (1 out of 5)