Analog Thoughts on a Digital Age

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

My Most Memorable Movie Posters 4: The Scary Posters

Halloween is fast approaching and I won't be at work or will I be near any computer for the next few days, so I give you this year's halloween bonanza; The Scariest Movie Posters.

Keep an extra pair of pants near! Mwahahahahahahaha!

Ariel: Not good with bloodstainsA Tale of Two Sisters- Aagh blood! Blood on a white dress is always scary. So is blood on water (if you happen to be standing next to a girl on her you-know-what in a public pool). Astrovision has toned down versions of this poster with the blood somewhat resembling chocolate stains.

wow, that's a big dolphin...Jaws-The first summer hit in history gets double billing this time around. I bet he got attracted to the blood leaking from the girl since she decided to swim in the buff. Yeechh!

Family First now goes door-to-doorThe Exorcist- Probably the scariest movie of all time, The Exorcist's poster gives you the eerie feeling of things to come once Father Merrin gets in the house.

mmmmmph mmmphSilence of The Lambs-the moth in the mouth just adds to the scariness of Anthony Hopkins' eyes.

Kleenex needs a new modelBlair Witch Project-To what can we attribute the movie's appeal? Was it's relative anonymity the reason?, the unconventional camera work? One thing's for sure, it's defineitely not the shot where snot was dribbling out Heather Donahue's nose!

Visine needs a new modelThe Jacket- Although not a horror movie, the poster for The Jacket lends a lot of its synaptic psychotic appeal to the weirdness-hungry audience.

Caronia needs a new modelSaw- Morbidness meets chic (whoever owned this leg really needed a pedicure). This poster never reached our shores for obvious reasons.

sleep baby, sleep. sleep baby, sleep.Three- This has got to be the freakiest most disturbing poster For a horror movie I have ever seen.

sometimes,words are not enough...A Dirty Shame-Not a horror movie also, just creepy. Just looking at Tracy Ullman gives me the shivers. And Selma Blair? Mercy be upon us all!

Have a great Halloween, all!!

Saturday, October 22, 2005

My Most Memorable Movie Posters 3: The Best "Best Describes The Movie" Posters

Hi there, here I go again with my posters, since I don't feel very well today and am basically to lazy to write, I will be posting some movie posters that don't really require any explanaition. Pardon the cynical tone in the next few lines, that's how Iget when snot keeps dripping off my nose as I tap away on the keyboard with no time to wipe my nose off.

ok, you got what you wanted, now gimme my $10Pretty Woman-hooker scores a rich man. done.

Easy Company sucks!Patton- George C. Scott is a hero, or at least that's what this movie tries to say, contrary to what most of the World War II vets in Bastogne (where the Battle of the Bulge happened) would say.

life is like a box of...i need to go to the toilet.Forrest Gump-half wit tells his story while sitting on a park bench. Done.

I'm not gonna faaaaaaa...Fearless-Jeff Bridges survives a plane crash and thinks he's immortal. I'd love to shove him off the edge right there.

welcom to da ghetto, cracker!City of God-One of my favorite movies of all time. This one scene as represented in the poster tells you what's waiting fo you in the gates of the Brazilian ghettos.

the kids take after their dad, ugly.The Family Man- This is a movie i secretly like, despite it's poor reviews and mediocre box office performance. Well, secret's out!

faster...with more intensity!Lost in Translation- Bill Murray's confusion and frustration is written all over his face and basically describes his performance in the movie.

sir wallet mo...Catch Me If You Can-You don't see Leo's face, you don't see Tom's. That's because they're moving so fast and the camera's shutter speed setting was too low.

I lost my keys. Waaaaaaaaha1Crash- This is probably 2005's best movie, but this isn't about the movie. You won't get the image's meaning unless you see the movie all the way through. It's very moving, believe me.

Next week. The Scariest Movie Posters.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Megatron, A Tank?

can't decide?As you all well know, The Transformers project (with Michael Bay at the helm) is underway and the writers are taking extra precautions on getting the story right. Their job is basically two-fold. 1. Getting the approval of the core fanbase (that's us) 2. Not alienating the rest of the human race (that's you). he latest development came as sort of a shocker to us rabid eagle eyed fan boys (well, it's more of a WTF?) When asked whether Megatron will retain its character in the original cartoon as the Decepticon leader transforming in to a shrinking hand gun, this is what they had to say...

I don't know how we can do it without making Megatron a tank...that's probably how where we're going to end up.

A tank? Where on earth did they come up with that? First off, there already is a Transformer that turns into a tank (forgot it's name) and secondly, the dillemma of him having to shrink to fit into a Decepticon's hand was resolved decades ago, they turned him into Galvatron, who turns into a bad-ass cannon. They don't necessarily have to turn him into Galvatron straight up, its just that turning him into a tank just does not feel right. Am I right?

Props to Egotastic and themovieblog for the link.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Vince Vaughan Is The Answer!

I got myself some good lovin' right here daddy so back off!For all those guys who had doubts about themselves and their manhood, those wo tried and tried sooo hard to find love but couldn't, those who are about to lose their faith in the goodness of humanity and have been trodden by the notion that this world only focuses on superficial beauty...I present Vince Vaughan.

Sure, it's just a rumor. And how I would want it to be true! What if Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughan are together? The most beautiful 'nice' girl in showbiz with Vince Vaughn?! Everybody's favorite drunk, perverted best friend? Vince? Jeremy from Wedding Crashers? Babaganoosh? (Im doing this with that crazy Vince Vaughn look on my face with the crazy eyes where I lean my neck a little forward while pushing and pulling my hands back and forth to and from my chest,).

I have a confession to make. If this is indeed true. If Jen and Vince are indeed an item, Vince Vaughan will be ny new idol and I will emulate my life to his teachings. (Trivia: How many times did I write Vince Vaughan in this entry/)

Props to Perez Hilton.

Anyone Like Spam?

tases great with ice creamWell, it looks like I got rid of my spam problem. But it brought about another one, my comment box dissapeared temporarily. Of course I put all my technical experstise to use figuring the ins and outs of blogger, even modifying the html code of the RSS feed only to figure out that the comment box button on the dashboard interface was unclicked..hah...some genius I am.

All is well. Be good, kids.

Friday, October 14, 2005

My Most Memorable Movie Posters 2: The Funny Posters

Hello again. As promised, here is my next batch of favorite movie posters. Usually, the funny posters don't mean that the movie is too, but I get a kick out of these ones anytime.

para sa puting walang kakupas-kupasFight Club teaser- The wit of the movie is reflected on the quote on the poster. (note: does not apply to white shirts and cotton pants. Believe me. I've tried.)

is that the tower of Pisa on your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo-If the MTRCB actually got the innuendo, I don't think they'd allow a 100 foot billboard of this image posted along EDSA.

Hey Johnny, where's da light?Saturday Night Fever-John Travolta is still the man. Look at that chin. The chesthair. Even the girl dancing with him can't keep up. He's just miles too cool from anyone else in the room. (I'm currently striking the pose as we speak, with matching bullet-ricochet sound effects, to the bewilderment of my officemates. I think they're emailing HR right now.)

you have been warned!Sorority Boys-LOL! This is by far. The funniest movie poster I have ever seen. I remember actuallly lauging out loud as I put my face 6 inches away from this poster in a mall somewhere.

Cool is an understatementThe 40 Year Old Virgin- Come on, admit it. You snickered just a bit when you saw this poster for the first time. Well, that's why its here.

Bush likes his girls big, hairy and smelling like burgers Farenheit 9/11-the defining moment of glory for Photoshop artists.

is that Boy Bawang on your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?Bagets 2-It's inevitable that they will be remaking this movie with young actors for the new millenium. I would rather see the original cast do a reunion as middle-aged, middle class office workers or med-reps with teenage kids and beer bellies. Here's another chance for you to see them as homo erotic teen idols in tight tight shorts before they either became politicians or washed out drug addicts (or both?).

More to come next week..

Props to for the posters.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Movie Review "Elephant" (2003)

nice tshirt

I was watching National Geographic last monday and saw a documentary about Elephant Rage. This mysterious behavior among adult elephants was a mystery to scientists until recently. The have found that most of the elephants who run amok in circuses or zoos are either orphans or otherwise used to be juveniles with not much parental guidance. Triggered by a traumatic experience (the death of a parent in the hands of poachers perhaps) this behavior results in many deaths in the cities and even among other wild animals in the jungle. It is further stated that this behavior is, really, no different from the human mental disorder called Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

The Gus Van Sant movie Elephant is a unique look at the ordinary lives of ordinary teenagers in a public high school in a typical suburban community. Van Sant has previously gotten critics acclaim for his works and Finding Forrester and the lackluster Psycho remake. I have always been a fan of Van Sant's work and have noticed that he has a very keen interest on alienated youth as a subject matter for his films (such as My Own Private Idaho and To Die For). This year, he made a film called Last Days, which is loosely based on the last few days of grunge hero Kurt Cobain.

Elephant is a loose adaptation (with very realistic detail) of the events that led to the Columbine High School massacre which happened in a small town in Colorado where two dissafected young men walked in to school one day bearing firearms and different kinds of gear and mowed the student population with high powered firearms bought off the interenet and local stores. The event is considered a national tragedy in the States and is a sore subject in the topic of guns and society. A very detailed description of the events that transpired can be found in Michael Moore's second film Bowling For Columbine, predecessor to Farenheit 9/11, but let's go back to Elephant.

I'll have a happymeal

The story revolves around a few students around the campus in what seems to be an ordinary day in high school. John (John McFarland) has is late for class because he has to take care of his drunk father and have him picked up by his older brother. Eli (Eli McConnell), is taking pictures of people around campus for his portfolio. Nathan has to pick up his girlfriend, Acadia joins in on a debate about gays in high school...and so on. This is all to be shattered in warp speed when two of their schoolmates Alex and Eric waltz into the doors of their highschool side entrance, and the rest as they say is history.
The execution of the events that led to the tragedy is impeccably done in the perspective of each focused character. The most memorable and unsettling would be when we are introduced to the character Michelle (Kristen Hicks), an 'unpretty' girl who nobody ever notices.In the movies, we learn to hate the characters who scorn the underdog. We are given a dose of our own judgemental medicine when Van Sant makes us realize that we never noticed her when, in fact she was given almost 20 seconds of screen time in the beginning of the film, and we never notice that she was actually running the background of one of the key scenes.
The movie also shows us how easy it is to have access to guns in America. The boys in the film simply ordered their ammunition off of a website and was delivered to their doorstep like a Thigh-Master. The movie doesn't really focus on the politics and the debate that inevitably ensued afterwards and didn't seek to take sides on the whole gun issue. It is a simple narrative of what MAY have happened through the eyes of the kids who had to go through it.
Elephant won The Palme D'Or in the 2003 Cannes Film Festival and is available in DVD everywhere. Elephant is definitely one of the best films I've seen this year. If I had seen this earlier, it would have been a shoo in for my top ten last year.

Rocketboy's rating ***** (5 out of 5)

Saturday, October 08, 2005

My Most Memorable Movie Posters: The Classic Posters

One of the few simple wishes I had as a child was to be able to decorate my bedroom with movie posters. Just movie posters. As a teen, I still wasn't able to get a single poster on my wall, When I was in college, my brother was able to stash some posters home from his job at a video store. For some reason, I never got to posting them up my wall. Now that I am in my late 20's and simply have no time for such 'childish' things ( I do still have time to check out the toys section in SM), I still don't have movie posters in my room.

Now before I go to bed in my jammies have my mom read me Curious George to get me to sleep, I just wanted to share the rest of you more socially adjusted folks what I would have posted on my wall If I had the chance and the funds. For the rest of October, I'm gonna post a series of memorable movie posters on my blog for you to look at, comment on, or just simply ignore. Most of these posters are hard to find, especially the classic ones. So If you have an industrial size printer and a gallon of red yellow and blue printer toner, you're in luck.

Anyhoo, here are my favorite Classic Movie Posters. Just click on the thumbnails for the full images.

dont be a squarePulp Fiction- Although Pulp Fiction is a relatively 'new' movie, it has elevated to cult status in such a short time that it is now considered a classic. Sure Uma is butt ugly in the movie as Mia Wallace, but who can't forget that image her doing the v fingers across her eyes while dancing with Travolta.

the token woman about to be killed at the beginning of the movieJaws-This image reminds me of why a lot of people are so chicken when it comes to swimming towards the deeper side of the beach. I was never afraid of the water. Of course I was spending most of the time in the beach checking out chicks.

my uncle Al PacinoSerpico- Astig! Would be the word we're looking for when referring to Al pacino's character as an honest but tough cop in Serpico.

it's whoopass timeSeven Samurai- One of my top five movies of all time as the coolest poster/DVD cover. Its funny how Toshihiro Mifune looks like he's leading the pack despite the fact that he was the weakest in the group.

mine all mine all mineCitizen Kane-If there was an image that says capitalism more than nay other, it would be This poster for what is touted to be the best film in the world.

ooh, I like that!One Flew Over the Cukoo's Nest- No one does wacko better than Jacko. He establishes in this poster his character in the movie. Or he might just be enjoying being poked in the backside with a broomstick.

Coolness defined!The Godfather- No pictures needed. No tag lines necessary. Just the title. Boom.

It doesn't end here, I've got more next week.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Movie Review "The 40 Year Old Virgin" (2005)

easily the Best Movie Poster of the yearAndy is a 40 year old single man living in a singles apartment with not much of a social life. One night he is invited by his co workers in an electronic store chain to play poker with them, soon stories about past relationships and 'encounters' fill the stale smoke filled air and it is revealed that Andy, pretty much, has not done the deed. His friends now engage in elaborate schemes (not before telling everybody else in the office that he's a virgin) to get him laid. While this devirginizing crusade of insanity ensues, Andy meets Trish, a single mom working accross the street...

I had been anticipating the Philippine release of The 40 Year Old Virgin since I first heard of it online a few months ago, With the success orf cousin-movie Wedding Crashers, my anticipation for this Steve Carrel (who I think is one of the funniest men in Hollywood right now) headliner grew and grew and grew. Then I saw the movie poster that said "Coming Soon...Hopefully". I was stoked. The day finally came yesterday when I went to the theater right after work and expected a side splitting 2 hours.

wait, you said we were gonna meet girls here!

Too bad sometimes, anticipations grow larger than films can deliver. 'Virgin' in essence is not really 'that' good of a movie. Although I applaud Steve Carrel for being effortlessly funny. Whatever this guy does is magic. The supporting cast was less than mediocre. With a cast of unknowns, with the exception for TV star and Anchorman buddy Paul Rudd and The Interpreter's Catherine Keener, the movie was plagued with a lot of sub par performances. Sure there were a lot of laughs, A LOT of them, but I guess what contributed to the mediocre experience was the fact that I was the only one laughing. I HATE, HATE, HATE it when that happens. I feel a certain disdain for the rest of the audience for not being able to get the jokes, at the same time, embarrased for myself because I look like an idiot laughing by my lonesome. There were a lot of very 'american' jokes like the Pakistani guy referring to the "Dirty Sanchez", that a lot of the Philippine audiences could not relate to, but there was a ton of slapstick and 'green' jokes enough to make girls giggle, like the opening scene where Andy walks to the bathroom with his morning wood poking through his boxers.

It kind of makes me think that this movie may not have been as successful if it had not been tailwhipped by the storm which was Wedding Crashers two weeks before it's release. 'Virgin' became no.1 in the US Box office for 2 weeks because people who were still high on 'Crashers' saw the movie and laughed at the similar off color humor that made 'Crashers' a gem. Seeing that the local release was two months late, It kinda blew it's steam with no real bang, kind of like know what.

This looks like it hurts, but I still would...

I'm gonna give this an extra point for Steve Carrel's comic genius.

Rocketboy's Rating: *** (3 out of 5)

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Bono Gets Nominated

Bono loves youBono is da man! Bloomberg News reports that he and Bob Geldof (co Live8 organizer) are, or may be in the secret 199 nominees for this year's Nobel peace Prize. Bono is also said to have a 6 in 1 chance to get the prestigious award. Talk agout great odds.

I've said it before, Bono is more than a rockstar, he's more than just a cool cat in shades. He's one of the few privileged success stories in recent rock history who really give a rat's tail about the world we live in and not just whine about it. The Bono from the '80's "With or Without You" is in many ways, different from the 'Vertigo' Bono we know now, well, for the most part, he's got more bling than 50 Cent and Snoop Dogg put together, but more because he' has grown wise and knows his place in the world.

Sorry, I'm not in the mood to bash any movies today, I've had a fairly pleasant weekend. Heheheh.

Props to What Would Tyler Durden Do?

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Movie Review "Transporter 2" (2005)

cheesy American posterBrainless action is the best Friday Night antidote to weekend stress. The Transporter is out, and people are coming in droves for a therapy session.

There's nothing very elaborate about Transporter 2. The story is kept simple. Frank, the Driver (Jason Statham) goes through his daily assignment of picking up little Jack (Hunter Clary) from school, he develops a linking for the kid and the neglected mom (Amber Valetta), something very dangeous in his profession. Of course the villain (Allesandro Gassman) comes in with a sinister plan to destroy the world with a deadly injectable substance and the matching antidote to sell to the highest bidder (coughjamesbondcough) they try to innoculate the kid (being the son of an important political guy, Matthew Modine) by posing as his pediatrician, but of course, the snooty, stuffed shirt of a driver smells something fishy and unleashes high budget hell expensive guns, Hong Kong style fight sequences and nail biting car chases (not much for the suspense, but the irritating thought of scratched paint or a fender bender on the Transporter's Audi)

Cars flipping over to dislodge a car bomb from it's chasssis, blocking high powered semiautomatic bullets with a hardiplast wooden door. Jumping vertically to dodge to cars in a head on collision and into jet skis to chase a bus on the run...what's not to like?

Fun After Hurricane Katrina

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the movie, and I love the fact that it doesn't take itself seriously at all. Luc Besson's penchant for high powered action scenes coupled with cheesy dialogue really is a treat for the after office click so they can just turn their brains off for two hours and just enjoy the fireworks.

Funny the girl never shoots the gun

Rocketboy's Rating: *** (3 out of 5)